When the first Spaniards led by Sanchez el Dirte, landed on the coast of Central America, they were quickly approached by the local indigenous population. Sanchez exclaimed to the chief, "I declare this land to be Costa Rica!"
The chief looked confused and replied: "Why should you name this land? It does not belong to you or your people."
"¨Ha!" balked Sanchez, "this land belongs neither to you and your people, nor me and my people. It will belong to the multitudes of North Americans seeking escape from winters.
They will come here to this beach that you call "Samara" in droves and set up everything exactly as they had it in their homelands. They will add cutsie touches to their beachside yoga enclaves, like exercise gyms made from wood. They will walk around with their shoulder length hair, necklaces and longboards- walking, but rarely surfing - and clutter the beaches jogging in spandex with their liquid gels in hip pouches and their thoroughbred dogs on leashes, playing frisbee or bocci ball in the water or on the beach and mingling with the other folks on their package vacations. They will escalate all the prices so that it will become the most expensive country in Central America. In fact, they will force many items to the ridiculous point of being MORE expensive than in their homeland. This is why we must name it Costa Rica - since only the rich will be able to afford the costs."
The chief looked concerned, it was his homeland afterall. "Won´t anyone try to stop this?"
"It is unstoppable." Sanchez paused to think. "....though there are some who will try to resist. Many years from now The Chosen Ones will board their bus to reach the coast in the dirty crossroads town of Nicoya. They will attempt to reach the coastal town of Nosara. The driver will demand payment for three people. The chosen ones will correct him. ¨No," they will point to their adult selves and say, "TWO people."
The driver will remain steadfast and hold his hand out, he will point to a metal post and say that any child taller than it must pay; he will even go as far as attempting to convince them that there is a meter equipped with a "laser beam" that detects how many passengers board.
This is the point at which the one called Drew will erupt into a George Costanza rant - he will think he is George, but in reality he will probably look more like Kramer (yes, I know what you´re thinking, we watched a lot of Seinfeld in Nicaragua) - he will declare at the front of the bus loudly that they have come through five countries and that children NEVER need to pay, he will utter his favourite Spanish words like "LOCO" and "MALO" while explaining that his child will be sitting on his lap so should not pay. He will attempt to stand his child up next to the meter since his child is in fact shorter than it - but then a big mamacita will step on the bus and tell him he cannot pass. In fact she will become involved in the debate, she will say that if he carried his child on he wouldn´t have needed to pay, but since the child walked on, he will need to pay. Then she will block his way with her girth and by use of the "TALK TO THE HAND" gesture while turkey bobbing her head and saying, "You cannot pass."
He will be helpless.
A Talk To The Hand can beat rock, paper and scissors combined.
He will be forced to stick it to the man - "We´re out of of here!" he will exclaim. He will collect his things, and outsmart everyone by walking to the back of the bus and taking his things out. Ali will say, "Who pays for the meter now?" and they will have a chuckle with one another.
People in the terminal will ask him what happened - the shopkeeper, the nice lady who was sitting next to him. He will explain "It´s not about the money, it´s about THE PRINCIPLE! He is JUST A CHILD!" People will agree.
Then they will decide to try a different coastal town - since they are blessed with time they have the gift of indifference and don´t care where they go. They will proceed to take a taxi for two times the cost the bus driver wanted and relish in the comfort of their 4X4 pickup truck, stopping to check out the monkeys.
When they reach the beachside town of Samara they too will find it to be exactly as I have described it to you. "
...and now you know the story of Co$ta Rica´s discovery.
Some statistics for your amusement.
Being at the beach today was like a nature walk pretty - there was a family of howler monkeys right over the trail and also several vultures sitting very close by. Two spiky large iguanas crawled up a tree covered in thorns. Ali said it was like being at a zoo or something and people pay big money to see this stuff at zoos, so we kept trying to get the boys interested in watching all the wildlife, but the boys were actualy more interested in their sticks. Shane holding his, and Logan hitting the barbed wire fence with his. Sticks are all the rage here in Mal Pais. Of course, they always want the same one.
Ali and I had visited it 12 years ago and there were only two places to stay. Both booked. So we camped out on the beach. Flash forward to today and it doesn´t even feel or look the same. Frank´s place hotel now has a liquor store and grocery store built in front of it and there are "no camping" signs posted on the beach. This is Hollywood surf central. There is a large Miami style outdoor shopping centre and the beach doesn´t even look the same. One thing the same is that the waves consistently break. There was a decent swell the day we arrived with lines of corduroy on the Pacific. Very nice. Quite a challenge as well. We settled into a decent hotel with pool, and working wi-fi FINALLY - the first time in a LONG time. We plan on sticking around here for a Christmas rendez-vous. Most places are completely booked up for xmas here and places double the prices, so we are pretty happy to have that taken care of before the rush started.
While Nicaragua has been a highlight, the borders have easily taken the cake as the most disorganized and corrupt borders we´ve been to - ever. In fact, we felt that things may possibly have regressed from 12 years ago when we first passed through this border. Transport trucks are lined up for kilometres leading in and out of the border on both sides so there is only one functioning lane, which is used by vendors to peddle food to the truckies sleeping in hammocks under the shade of their rigs. This working lane becomes a stand-off between people trying to get where they are going, like us for example, and the occasional fed-up truckie who decides to take it into the open lane. The result is what is known by expats as : making easy things difficult. Apparently it can take days for these trucks to get through this border. Why? This is the only border we have been through that is like this. Why? How is it that scheisters walk around selling you the immigration entry forms for two dollars right in front of the border police and no one does a thing about it? Never mind the fact that I didn´t fall for the trap, they act pissed off by the fact that I didn´t fall for it. So many questions. At immigration, while fending off these dirtbags, we met up with a couple from Canada. They were the same age as us, roughly, and had kids the same age as ours. They live in Costa Rica. Dan, invented the tool that removes the kingpin from skateboard trucks. He has the patent on it. Cool. Yet random. Once we all cleared out and were stamped into Costa Rica they offered us a ride in the back of their truck to Liberia. We accepted. Ali and I sat on our backpacks and the boys started out safely on our laps, but soon were crawling everywhere and playing with all the new toys in the back. We ended up at Mc Donald´s where all four of the kids were in heaven. Normally I would say that I can´t remember the last time I ate at Mc Donald´s, but in fact I can, since we went to one in El Salvador in a town where every other food option was closed.
The kitchen is made for cooking. Name the utensil, gadget or device you need and they have it. Basically everything in the house was imported from the U.S. - shipped here - think about the duty, plus cost of transport, etc. and it will get the hamster in your head back on that wheel.
The enclosed courtyard has a pool and gas bbq. Yes. Gas. As in, chicken wings with hot sauce or steak. Even shrimp if you feel like it. Sunset out the kitchen windows. Are you considering your retirement in Nicaragua? I hope so, because we will come and visit. Oh yeah, and you can own title to land here even as a foreigner. Safest country in North America (after Canada) if you believe the stats - I personally can´t see how that´s possible, but I guess if you´re competing with the U.S.
Logan has enjoyed some downtime during Shane´s naps with the Nickelodeon satellite feed. Ali and I love the Fox 29 WUTV feed for the classic Seinfeld episodes we´re getting at night. The Marine Biologist episode. So good. 
Just to the north and to the south of San Juan are three perfect crescent shaped beaches that are literally some of the most beautiful unspolied places we´ve ever visited. Because of the proximity to Lago de Nicaragua, there are nearly constant offshore breezes which ease the tropical mugginess and make things quite refreshing. It also creates hollow fast waves that barrel. We split a cab with Matt and were on our way north to Playa Maderas, the site of the recent Central American surf competition. 
